:: Corky Romano

At the outset, please forgive my momentary indulgence into generalisations, however I think it is true enough to say that the majority of really bad films that are released theatrically these days are usually, at the very least, well executed and look pretty damn good. This is of course because they require the equivalent of the gross domestic product of a small nation to cover just the above the line costs. Other films, which don’t have at least one A-list star and whose producers weren’t quite as successful in the backing stakes, ie they only require the equivalent of the gross domestic product of Australia to fund the above the line costs, usually go straight to video. For some inexplicable reason, Corky Romano has escaped what I would have thought would have been its inevitable fate, that of going straight to video and is apparently going to have a short theatrical run. I say “short” theatrical run for a reason.

The plot goes like this; a family of gangsters get themselves in a spot of bother. It seems the FBI have a piece of evidence that is going to finally put “Pop’s” Romano (Peter Falk) away to do the hard time, therefore Pops needs someone to go undercover in the FBI and steal this valuable evidence. No one can be trusted with this extremely important task except family and it would simply be too obvious to send one of Pop’s two favoured sons, Paulie (Peter Berg) or Pete (Chris Penn). The only recourse the family has is to call on the sibling that they kicked out many years earlier for not being one of them. This, of course, is Corky (Chris Kattan). Corky has turned into a chirpy young fellow and is carving out a career for himself as an assistant veterinarian at Poodles and Pussies. With “hugs for free” stickers adorning his canary yellow mobile, he drives around singing 80’s tunes in at the top of his lungs and is just generally clumsy and useless.

The family summons Corky to the house and after only a moment of hesitation is only too happy to help his long lost family, who until then he thought were involved in the landscaping business. Corky gets in to the FBI with a fake transfer from another branch and a resume crafted by some unlikely looking hackers fearful of the wrath of his brothers. Unfortunately the hackers have created a resume, which is a tad beyond Corky’s potential, and as the press kit notes, have turned him into a FBI “super agent”. Chaos ensues as Corky is let loose in the FBI and gets assigned to a case of a notorious killer whose characteristic crime appears to be murdering people and then doing something unattractive to their genital region. There is of course a stunning female FBI agent who is also assigned to the case alongside Corky.

I don’t think it would be giving too much away to say that in the end Corky wins the respect of everyone in the FBI with his miraculous ability to stuff everything up (not that anybody notices) and still come out OK. He eventually catches the notorious killer and also catches the real person behind the crimes his lovable family have been accused of, as they turn out to be mere money launderers and tax evaders, quite nice gangsters after all. His brothers confess to their own shortcomings and develop a profound respect for Corky who also then becomes Pops’ favourite. To top it off he marries the stunning female FBI agent who has seen through Corky’s peculiar ways to his wonderful self below and his old boss hands him the keys to Poodles and Pussies so his dreams of running his own vet clinic are fulfilled.

Chris Kattan, of Saturday Night Live fame, by far the most entertaining member of the cast, at the end of the day is a shorter version of Jim Carey with much less potential. The plot, as you can see, is just plain bad. There is nothing particularly original or amusing about the script that, for a large part, relies on the physical slapstick presence of Kattan. Despite doing a pretty good job with the material he was given, it simply isn’t enough to sustain an entire film, even if it is only 86 minutes in length.

I am struggling to think of anything good to say about the film except that the surround sound was as it should have been – loud. The soundtrack had a couple of 80’s moments in it that brought back some good memories and there was one scene involving a large quantity of cocaine and children that, despite myself, I laughed in. All I have to say is wait for this film to be released on video and then, one day when there is simply nothing else available, try and forget the words you have read here today and rent it.

Screening on general release