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:: Legion

This will be a short review on Legion, directed by Scott Stewart, because there isn’t a whole lot to say about this awful film where everything, yet nothing, actually happens.

God has grown sick and tired of humans killing each other and destroying the earth so he sends one of his Arc Angels, Michael (Paul Bettany), to lead the legion sent to destroy all living things. This angel, however, harbours hope for mankind and disobeys. Instead, he decides to fight off the impending doom because there may be a glimmer of hope – found at an American truck stop. A mixed bunch of people (including Dennis Quaid and Kate Walsh from Private Practice), are stranded at this rundown service station in the middle of the desert, and team up with the fallen Michael to fight off the Apocalypse.

A truly horrible horror film, it’s kind of like resident evil meets the bible. God is vengeful and angry, seeking to create a flood-style extermination of humanity but using a much more violent method. Lacking any real substance, the plot feels like it existed only in order to justify blood, possessed zombie-grandmas and Rambo-style Arc Angels. The premise is unoriginal, poorly executed and the first half of the film made no sense. To build suspense the writers didn’t bother telling the audience why this Angel was here wielding AK-47s, but it happened so far into the action it felt they had forgotten to and just mentioned it in passing.

There were moments of humour, not always intended, but the corny and weak moral of the story was too serious and too awful for words. I mostly laughed and furrowed my brow with exasperation instead of leaping out of my seat from fright or fear, which was not the desired affect but nonetheless the one that was achieved.