:: Splashmat - Porn Star

Splashmat

It’s funny how sometimes you don’t even need to listen to a CD to know what it’s all about. Though they are very few, there are times you can just hold a disc in your hand and feel the vibe radiating from its bright pink fluorescent cover. Then after recognising this vibe for a while you feel the need to play the disc just in case the cover thing is a ruse and inside lays the work of the greatest undiscovered band in history. On opening the cover you’re greeted with the cheesy grins of four mature aged men attempting to look like rock stars, albeit with the help of some grainy photography effect. Interest grabs you again and you remove the insert to see what the band have to say for themselves, and there it is, the perfect accompaniment to the title; a vast array of breasts and crotches and the same four men, this time making special faces and aided by fake big black moustaches. Okay, so the image and tone have clearly been set, but what about the music? Taking into consideration the aforementioned it has to be said it’s not all bad. The title track ‘Porn Star’ remains a complete mystery to me, with it’s ‘interesting’ lyrics and ‘charming’ moaning. You are left hoping that it’s intention was to be farcical. Aside from this, the remaining three tracks are quite enjoyable. This may have something to do with the fact that there are no lyrics and the tracks are purely instrumental pieces. So without prolonging this review any further, I will say this much, the band can play.