:: St.Jerome's Laneway Festival - Melbourne - February 2009

By: Tabytha Towe

Featuring some of Melbournes very own local artists, the band line up included big names and up and coming performances such as: Architechture in Helsinki, Girl Talk, Augie March, Jay Reatard, The Drones, Born Ruffians, Hermitude, Mountains in the Sky, Deadulus, Rusko, Cut off your Hands, El Guncho, No Age, Stereo Lab, The Hold Steady, My Disco, Still Flyin‘, The Fite, Pivot, Port O’ Brien,Tame Impala and much more….

Located in Melbournes' CBD on the gated off passages of Lonsdale street, Little Lonsdale, the lawns of the State Library and a few alley ways in between, this years annual music fest kicked off at 2.00pm looking promising. A fun filled event with plenty of bands rocking out untill 10.00pm with the sun shining and $4 Tiger beer, how could it get any better?

It started four years ago as a small festival just on a single alley way, where St. Jerome's bar is, but has since extended into the streets and has grown out of being celebrated only in Melbourne, born now into Perth, Brisbane, Adelaide and Sydney. This has become a very iconic event for Australians recently. I was excited to go to this particular fest because it was so very Melbourne, in the set up, line up and style, (line up of course being the music, not the annoying, standing in the line up part, which everyone loathed.) The style no less, uber cool and high spirited.

I would like to say it was more interactive, but really it was too intimate. The horrendous human traffic blocked your movement whilst you tried to push your way through the crowds with beer dripping on yourself and innocent others, your toes getting stepped on, back getting smacked, struggling to get even a ‘glimpse’ of the stage. The line ups were absolutely absurd, the wait time sitting at an average hour or more, aggravating eager fans who paid $105-$110 a ticket to see these bands.

I overheard many people complaining that it was rather a “line way” fest or even a rude “lame way” fest. Although I would have to admit, quite understandably. I had figured that I would have seen about 8 bands (I did however show up fashionably later, at 4.00pm, but still expected to hop around from venue to venue, band to band, as everything was so close.) Much to my dismay I only got to see 4 bands in total, 2 of which I never even got a view of because it was so over crowded, so I just heard them in the background and attempted to get lifted up from time to time to get a mere, sneak peak.

Needless to say the Lt. Lonsdale stage was a tin of sardines with thousands of drunk and sweaty patrons stuck together, where as the smaller stages were actually eligable for walking some feet. On the Lonsdale st. stage I got to see “Jay Reatard” play at 4:10 and the audience was really into them. Here you have three retro/grunge looking guys, (one of our locals) all with mid length hair for head banging and bashing systematicaly, sometimes in rhythm with each other. They are a big hit for punk rock fans and their music delivers, as well as their high energy performances. The vocalist had a good, strong voice, yet he never revealed his face as he consistently and cleverly disguised it behind his truft of long curls. The guitatrist in black compensated with his fierce expressions and constant, vigourous head thrashing about. I would definitely see these guys again live, and if you enjoy the likes of “The Sex Pistols” or “The Ramones”, then I would suggest you see them next time too!

After watching that first gig of the day for me, it was time to guzzle a beer then make my way with my mates up to the Lt. Lonsdale stage for three bands I was desperate to see. First up was “Cut Off Your Hands”, another local favourite, in which I only managed to squeeze in to the crowd about 20 metres away from the stage. My friend lifted me up to steal a look but it wasn‘t enough, though I enjoyed what I could hear and found them entertaining. Judging by the rest of the crowds’ cheers, they were big fans. It's too bad I couldn't get closer as I was truly looking forward to catching them. Ah well, next time.

Second was a band I like a lot, The Drones, more of a rock-melody band with three blokes and one girl, whose back was towards the audience the entire show. People were chanting along with their songs and they seemed to be received as extraordinarily popular for those up front. Of course during intermission and more shoving around, queueing for more beer and aiming to grab a spot in front of the stage, somehow myself and mates ended up further away from it. The stupid thing about the set up is that the lane is long and narrow, there are no toilets and no-in-and-outs, unless you wanted to get back in that atrocious line again, going down as far as Bourke Street!? I had to cop it because a) had to use the loo, the only one available was at Strike, the bowling bar, where everyone scrambled to for another half hour wait, and b) I wanted to get a drink so I had to use the ATM, and go figure, there wasn't a machine in the laneway. So I lost my spot and missed out on “Architechture in Helsinki” and was too impatient to wait any longer for “Girl Talk” head lining afterwards, as police were now yelling at punters to leave the line. How extremly disappointing, many complaints are going up on a web page, apparently for a petition for refunds. Somehow I doubt there will be one cent returned. The company sure did make a lot of dough on this. I can't even estimate how many people there were. They perhaps shouldn't have sold that many tickets. Production was expensive, mind you, shutting down the laneways alone is an overwhelming fortune, but luckily they had sponsors who sorted that out. The State Library was a cool gesture, free music and yes, you guessed it, port-a-pottys!! Wish there was one inside the gated limits.

The last band I saw was Augie March back at the Lonsdale stage, where there was an easy, walk-right-on-through queue, thank God! I was happy to move again and so I wasn't too upset about missing the other performances anymore. The sun was going down and the night had a nice glow, the seven-piece band had amazing stage presence with their trombone orchestra, harmonica, key boards, drums and guitars. They are a feel good, rock and roll country band with celtic and cabaret elements in some songs. People were smiling and tapping their feet along, mouthing the lyrics they knew. It was a great final gig to sign the evening off.

In conclusion to the days events, it truly is a fantastic festival, I do recommend it, but for myself, I know next year I will probably go to the Library for free music and bring an esky along, maybe go to the after party. It's just too busy and that makes your anticipation dwindle. I had a fun time regardless, only wish I spent more of it inside the lane way instead of outside waiting around it.